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    请调报告

    今儿早上人事的老头让写个类似请调报告的东西,还要填一堆表格,一个破企业调动也这么多P要求,真麻烦.
    于是回来baidu了一下,没想到正经请调报告没找着,倒找着这个,嘻嘻...吐舌
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    <孙悟空的请调报告>

     

    尊敬的玉帝老儿:

      我也不知道是不是该规你管,反正我不想在唐僧这个小组里混了,都是什么人呢!我宁可再被压在五行山也,爱咋咋地吧!有招想去,没招死去。那个唐僧,长得白白胖胖的,别说妖精,我都怕我一不小心把他吃掉。成天就会哼哼一句ONLY YOU我都快忘了蚊子是怎么叫的了。表面上六根清静,肚子里的花花肠子都快追上猪八戒了,又是国王又是公主的;怕这怕那,这也不让打那也不让打,被妖精抓去了吧还得救他!真TMD烦!你就说上次那个白骨精吧,明摆着变了一个又一个人形出来,荒山野地的,哪有那么多人出来!我打他还不让,还念咒给我听,那次要不是看在观音姐姐的面子上,我再出山才怪。你不懂你可以问吗?你不问我怎么知道你不懂呢!在对付妖精这方面我肯定是专业人士了,现在连人都知道相信专业人士的了,这个唐僧肉眼心胎的还妄想当什么神仙!回家抱孩子去得了!还想对我缝了点皮衣,那可是老虎皮呀,我是猴子穿着虎皮的东西,我能好受吗!本是同根生,相煎何太急!

      提他我就气,还有更可气呢!就是那个猪八戒。天篷元帅了不起呀,看他用的破兵器就没品味,更别说长得那个猪样了,还老爱照镜子,说什么现在女妖精都喜欢胖子。女妖精减肥都减疯了,白骨精都减成白骨了还想减呢!哪个会喜欢胖子,真是痴人说梦!见到有点姿色的女妖精,恨不得一时掏出心来给人家看,舍不得打舍不得骂!等被人家放在蒸笼里,想打吧来不及了。还得说什么石榴裙下死,作鬼也风流! 石榴裙没看到,我只看到一大堆毛腿!还有时没时打个小报告什么的,偏这唐僧耳根子软,打什么听什么,今说我调戏妇女,明说我不尊重妇女儿童,拜托我对妇女儿童没兴趣,我只对PL猴子MM才流口水!偏这呆和尚就信了,还规定了什么三大纪律八项注意,有一条是不拿群众一针一线,我又不会女红,我要针线干吗!

      还有就是那个沙和尚,整个一个呆瓜。整天就知道挑个担子,要不就对着河水剃头发,有用吗同志!你再象和尚你也吃过人呀!动不动就蹭你身边来,嘘个寒问个暖的,你丫的烦不烦呀,我是石头生下来的,哪知道寒暖。大半夜的不睡觉,站你床着看着你,你都看到过两次了,我虽然身材好点!皮肤嫩点,长相比猪八戒强上那么一点点,但我是真的真的对男人没兴趣的!离我远点,泡唐僧还合适一些。还有,我对这次西游的目的表示怀疑。我们整天漫无目的地走,一会跳出来妖精来我们打打,听说这些妖精还是你们养的,想我老孙虽说是个粗人,不明白你们到低要做什么。但我也知道耽误别人的时间等于谋财害命。还有你说你们弟子了坐骑了跳出来你说打是不打!打吧,又和你们结了梁子,不打吧,又对不起我这一身的功夫。这吃力不计讨的话,谁 爱干谁干去,我是不干!什么什么你说,到了西天就成正果了,可以成佛。成佛有什么好处呀!可以想打谁打谁,那我以前不就看谁不顺眼就打谁吗!


      基于以上理由,我请求调离这个小组,我请求调回花果山。花果山需要我。花果山的父老乡亲需要我!请求封号齐天大圣,玉帝老儿,这次不要骗我,否则我还闹到天宫去!打你们个体无完肤,满地找牙。



                                                

                                                  孙悟空 
                                     *年*月* 于花果山水帘洞

    Comments (3)

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    就交这篇吧~~~~
    Nov. 27
    最后一句你可以借鉴下~~~~cici~~~~
    Nov. 26
    王二松wrote:
    不干了就是不干了!还什么请调报告!真事!
     
    Nov. 26

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